A little advice from our featured bride, Nicole.
Did I choose the right color scheme? Were there too many flowers? Not enough? Should the guest book have gone in a different location? Should the groomsmen of worn the same vest color as my groom? Was the venue too overwhelming? Should I have included my second cousin twice removed as a bridesmaid? Should the ceremony of been shorter? Should I have chosen to have a down sit-down dinner?
As the bride, we try to please all of our family and friends who attend, which could be 50, 100 or even 200+ people all at once. When in reality, it just really is not at all practical! You’re the bride, and without becoming a “bridezilla” you need to remember to remain in calm control and do what is best for you and your groom. If nothing else, you need to believe in yourself and know that if you love it and it’s special to you, then your friends and family will love it, too. If they don’t, well then they know what it is that they need to correct for when they throw the wedding of their dreams. This is YOUR dream day…no one else’s.
Let’s take a lesson on this matter, from one of SCW’s brides, Nicole.
Nicole is a very personal and private individual. She doesn’t base her decisions on opinions, praises or approvals from others.
“It slows me down when I think about everyone else’s opinions.”
Nicole has accomplished so much thus far for her big day and the girl is unstoppable! She is doing what is best for herself, as the bride and for her soon-to-be husband. Nicole is confident that her family will love the finished product because she has gone above and beyond to include everyone in the sweetest way! (Coming Soon…Follow this featured bride to see how.)
Here are a few of the lessons learned from this beautiful bride to be and from SCW brides of the past:
Lesson #1 – Keep your engagement private…just for a little bit! Getting engaged is a huge step in your relationship that you’ll need to process all that it entails between just the two of you before releasing the “big news” to the masses via social media and beyond. In due time you’ll receive enough of the unwanted (or wanted) attention from family, friends and strangers on what they think is best for you to do for your big day. And soon thereafter, they’ll be pressuring you about when you’re going to have kids, what name you’ll give your dog, what kind of car you should buy, and what color paint you should choose for your first home together. Before entering into the world of other people’s opinions, just enjoy the moment between the two of you.
Lesson #2 – Once you’ve had time to process this next step in your relationship between just you and your groom, go ahead and fill everyone else in on your exciting news. And, once you do…hear them out. Most of the people you’ll come in contact with, have been married before, and probably have been for many years. All they really want is what is best for you. Appreciate their love for the both of you. We promise they aren’t trying to change your mind, or tell you what it is that you like. So, put your guard down and hear what they have to say.
Lesson #3 – Step out of your comfort zone. Go ahead and try on those crazy bridal gowns that you would normally not be caught dead in; go stretch your vocal chords and sing karaoke; go sky-diving or bungee jumping if you’ve always wanted to, but have always been afraid to do. There will be many choices and risks you’ll have to take from here on out in planning your wedding. Stepping out of your comfort zone is a way to ease into the craziness of it all and to find some fun in the process of it!
Lesson #4 – (I love this one) Honor the groom’s wishes! Men typically don’t care about what color ribbon is wrapped around the bouquet, what the favors are, whether you use round tables of eight or long tables for the reception and they probably won’t say much, if anything, regarding the wedding day planning as a whole. But, on the rare occasion that your groom does voice his opinion in regards to “your” wedding day…hear him out and give him the opportunity to be a part of things. Remember two becomes one, so what is thought to be “your” wedding day, is really the both of yours. 😉 That one little wish he’s requesting is much more important than trying to decide whether to use wine glasses or mason jars (even though it’s a no brainer…mason jars, of course. Duh!).
Lesson #5 – Keep your receipts!! Seriously. You can’t expect everything to go smoothly. Things change and little things add up. You may find yourself in need of buying more of something, and given all the chaos of your planning, you may forget where you purchased that silk lined aqua blue ribbon with beveled edging. Having your receipts together and in some kind of order will make the running around to find that missing link so much easier than going off of memory alone. Invest in an accordion file folder, an old shoe box or a simple manila envelope of some sort and keep all your receipts together in one place.
Lesson #6 – The pyramids weren’t built in a day, and planning your wedding won’t be done in the same amount of time, either. Things take time. Everything is a process. Allow yourself to relax as much as possible, and only take on a few tasks each month prior to your wedding day. Spreading out the planning process, rather than doing everything all at once will also allow for you to enjoy getting to the final destination all the more. You’ve waited your entire life to plan your dream day, allow yourself to enjoy the process. (Refer to SCW’s Bridal Check List)
Lesson #7 – To keep the little sweet birdies who mean well from chirping in your ear when you know what it is you want…keep the details to yourself. That does not mean you cannot use Pinterest! Simply create a “private board” that can only be viewed by individuals you invite. Only those invited individuals can voice their opinions and tell you how much they love your ideas! If you are not a “Pinner” (but really, you should be…it’s addictingly fun and worthy to gain ideas and perspective!), just log everything into an online or old fashioned written wedding journal/binder. You can even call it your “wedding bible” if you choose. Regardless, don’t let the cat out of the bag completely. This goes back to Nicole’s original mindset…know who you are, know what you like, and stick to your guns.
Lesson #8 – Reuse decorations. You will probably have at least one bridal shower, and you’re bound to get some pretty awesome gifts at that time and prior to your wedding day, itself. Don’t be afraid to use decorations and items from them as part of your wedding day decoration and ambiance. What would tie in more than keeping the theme from one wedding event to another and using the gifts your family and friends so lovingly purchased for you, as part of your wedding day décor? In addition to being practical, it also shows that you appreciate the items you received. It’s almost a way of saying “thank you,” even after you’ve already sent them a “thank you” card for it.
Lesson #9 – Take a break from planning your big day. Life isn’t going to magically stop just because you’re deciding between using a full burlap table cloth or just a runner. Taking a step back away from planning your wedding will allow you to gain and regain composure. Call up some of your girlfriends and go grab a cup of coffee or a drink during happy hour. And if you must, make a game of trying NOT to say the “W” word while you’re out with your friends. Just enjoy the moment of time away from planning.
Lesson #10 – Be practical! If you are asking yourself if you really need something, the answer is probably, NO! Don’t overdue decorations and activities at your wedding reception. And certainly, don’t max out your credit cards and go into debt for this dream celebration you’re planning. Use your conscious mind to help you decide if it’s really necessary to have three photo tables, four lawn games and a cigar rolling station, just to keep everyone busy at your reception. If it’s going to break your bank account before you even get to set up a joint checking account with your soon to be betrothed, then it’s more than likely not necessary to include at your wedding. Keep it simple. Keep it practical.
Lesson #11 – Don’t hesitate to say NO. Whether you’re telling yourself “NO” (because you really don’t need to add a second element to your favors), your caterer, your wedding planner, your parents, your soon to be in-laws, your bridesmaids or groomsmen…”NO” is not a bad word. You know what it is you like, what it is you want, and how you want things executed. Be fair and listen to what others have to say and to what ideas they may have, but never be afraid to just say “NO” if you prefer your method of things over theirs. After all…it is your day, remember?
What are your thoughts? We would love some feedback.